The story teller (left) now a woman leader in her community in Bufuula village-Jinja district Uganda
Before becoming a woman councilor in our community, i used to fear entering a bank. I would look at those magnificent buildings with glass windows and every time i passed by a bank, i would see my reflection, of a villager who did not deserve to enter a bank. I had resigned within in myself that banks are meant for educated people, those with a high social status and not villagers like myself. It was after a long encounter with a women saving group in my community initiated by a URI CC called Latter Glory of Religions that I entered a local bank because being one of the signatories to the new account we were set to open, i had no excuse but to swallow my fears. Inside the bank, i kept on looking at every person in the bank, most of them were men with just a few women. They all seemed to have a particular form of dress code, which appeared smart for my eyes. But my eyes also led me to women like myself, just dressed in simple clothing. At the end of our mission in the bank, my fears were at bay and it dawned on me that it didn’t matter how i looked like or how i was dressed but the mission of adopting a saving culture.
Reflecting back on my banking nightmares, i realize that so many women in rural areas could be going through a similar situation or even worse. Most of the women in my village toil the days of their lives tilling the land and upon harvest, their spouses decide on how the money is to be spent. It’s also inevitable that some of this money is used to get a second wife and the cycle continues.
It is for this reason that i am using every opportunity to educate fellow women on the importance of saving money to better their lives. Story shared by a woman councilor in Bufuula village-Jinja district (Uganda) during our community engagements in the women’s property rights project with Later Glory of Religions in Busoga CC.
Figure 2 the story teller, now a community leader and a strong advocate of women empowerment
Just one minute to listen is all a woman needs to change her situation
Most of them are prepared to be submissive to their husbands, never to talk back, never to question, never object, so many “nevers!” This alone is what helps a woman to sustain her marriage in a typical rural setting in Uganda.
When you move within the rural villages, you will not miss out coming across women seated in small groups sharing tips on how to make their marriages better. Those who have endless woes with their spouses are always advised on new tips they could use to address their problems. Sometimes its cooking tips, health tips, better ways to treat in-laws and sexual arousal tips, name it, is the kind of talk you might find. But no matter how much of this they do, most of it is in vain. Their grandmothers, mothers, aunties and all the women in their lives have done all of this and even died trying to sustain their marriages in vain. One wonders what the problem could be.
When you try to trace the trends in marital circles, you would realize that our society is so fast to forget, that as all the girls are being initiated into marriage by the gender roles and responsibilities that are given to them both at home and in the community, how much of that is taught to men to behave in the same measure? Most of their teaching is to assert their position as men in the home, never to be question, to make decisions for his home, control all the resources in the home including all the members in that home and so many others responsibilities in that line.
Ruth Kataike found herself in the same cycle. A cycle that has been traditionally enshrined in the cultural norms and practices of her fore fathers and mothers. Haunted by the same vice, Ruth 53 years a resident of Kavule DFI village in Mayuge District shares her ordeal.
A married mother of 8 children, 4 of them out of school whereas 4 are still in school, the circumstances surrounding Ruth are just enough to know where her fate lies.
For so long lived in ignorance of her property rights and as a result she has experienced property injustices by her husband for over 10 years. For her entire marriage period the husband has been the sole decision maker when it comes to property issues. Having been nurtured and told that a woman is supposed to be submissive to her husband, she abided by which ever decision her husband made in the marriage although she in some instances she felt that some of the decisions he made were not in the best interest of the family. Little did she know that the situation would at some point worsen. The husband reached a point of denying her and the children access to their family land after he had abandoned them for several years. As if that was not enough, sold off all the trees she had planted on this land together with her children without their consent and used the money to his own benefit.
Ruth was felt very helpless and kept wondering on what she should do. She was nurtured to be submissive to her husband and therefore feared to question him on anything he did even when it was oppressive towards her and the children. As all this happened, she felt that the only solution she had to relieve her anger was to shed tears and thereafter stomach the various injustices that were going in her home.
One day while she was going about her usual business at home, she was handed an invitation to attend a community dialogue on women’s property rights organised by Friends of Community Health, a URI CC in collaboration with URI-GL. It never crossed her mind that in this dialogue is where she would find a solution to her problems. During the dialogue, those in attendance were sensitized on the property rights of women and several other issues surrounding property and all was being done under a project aiming at promoting women’s property rights in her region. As the dialogue went on, slowly by slowly Ruth became more confident that she would not leave without having a solution to the ongoing property injustices in her home because she was becoming more and more enlightened about her property rights and where she could go to seek help.
Ruth says that by the time the dialogue ended, she had already taken a decision on where she would go to seek help and overcome the property injustices she was experiencing basing on the information she had received.
The next day, before engaging in any other business, she went to the Community Liaison Officer of Mayuge District (Mr. Nyegenye Steven) to whom she shared her situation and without any hesitation he accepted to come to her village and intervene in her issue. She is positive that her life and that of her children will be much better if her issue is resolved and is thankful for the education she received as a result of this project.
Reminiscing on the turn of events in just an instant, Ruth recounts on the power of listening, and extending for those experiencing abuse to share their plight. It was just an instant that the story of her life begun to change. Many women in her village she observes go through a similar ordeal or even worse, but no one gives them that time to be heard. Either the world is too busy or those willing can only do just a little given the soaring numbers of women facing abuse.
